September - Grace Based Parenting by Kimmel

My parents do not know grace and therefore could not have given what they never had. The first time I encountered grace, was in 2003, when I finally realized how much God loved me. Even in my past, present, and future sins, He already had atoned for me because He wanted to spend eternity with me. It did not matter if I felt like I was worth it, it did not matter if I rejected it, it did not matter if I wanted it, God did it all to demonstrate His love for me. (Romans 5:8) However, I was in my early 20's and had no idea I was ever going to have to apply it to parenting! Ha!

Now, I have heard of this so-called "grace based parenting." I am even on a forum on Facebook that pushes it. That's the problem, I was hearing things like no rules, no discipline, no punishment. My husband and I whole-heartedly believe the words penned in Proverbs 13:24. We believe grace need to be an end goal but.... no rules? I could not believe it. I prayed for months. We knew grace is an essential element in a Christ centered home, but discipline also needs to be! 

One day, while the kids and I were at the public library, this book was laying on a cart, I grabbed it wondering if it was one of those books about no rules. Boy, was I in for a treat! My Father knew this book would pin point all my doubts and questions. He put it in my path just for my family for He is the One molding it! 

Grace Based Parenting: Set your Family Free by Dr. Tim Kimmel starts off by pointing out 7 different parenting maps that give our children a "Christian parallel universe," a life where nothing that reminds us of the ungodly is allowed in the family, no matter what. (11) Kimmel summed it up best on page 16, that "all the parenting styles listed above...are the result of a parent's theology." By that, he was saying the way we parent comes from how we view God as a Father, and how we think He views us as children. Personally, I have read books that sort of talked about these things, but what came after was affirming to me. In my mind, I kept saying, YES! YES! YES!

In chapter 2, Dr. Kimmel identified the nature of grace and truth, and made a point that cheap grace is imitation grace. He was teaching through two church going men's examples, that grace and truth need to hand in hand work together. 

Grace does not lower the standards in our homes; it raises them. 

It doesn't push people away from holiness; it pushes them toward it. 

It doesn't cause them to despise truth; it propels them to embrace truth all the more.

It encourages people to aim higher in their relationship with God and helps them dream bigger dreams. 

Cheap grace, on the other hand, holds people down and sets them up for heartache. (40)

I slowly digested through this book. The best part, the one I was hoping this book would have, was in chapter 6: A Delivery system for Grace. He gave us a "fourfold delivery system [that] makes it a lot easier to show [our] children how to find love, purpose, and hope in Jesus Christ." (134)

1. The freedom to be different

2. The freedom to be vulnerable

3. The freedom to be candid

4. The freedom to make mistakes

From chapter 7 till the end, Kimmel gave the readers countless examples, funny anecdotes, and ways to help our families be filled with homegrown grace that only Holy Spirit filled parents can grow. 

I am so glad I randomly saw and picked up this book to read from the library. God is so good to me and my family. Thank You LORD for teaching me and growing me so evidently and patiently. Get this book and read it, you will not regret it! This is a book I definitely would like to add to our family library.

In Christ,

Joanna