May 2016 - Lysa TerKeurst - Am I messing up my kids?

I am working on this book right now. Chapter 1-5 have been funny and honest. This is the first Lysa TerKeurst book I have picked up, and I have heard so much about her already, I had decided to wait to read anything that's hers on purpose. After every chapter, there is a little study and space for notes. I will probably highlight some of my favorites here when I am done... if I remember to...

January - Missionaries

As a family, we borrowed two books from the missions library at church. Both of them were published by Christian Focus Publications and both were written by Irene Howat. Age target is 7-12.

Book 1. Ten Girls who changed the World 

Book 2: Ten Boys who made a Difference

My 5 and 7 year old children loved them so I read them too ;-) These books are written to be easily understood. The stories are true events, captivating and inspiring. At the end of each little story, the author sneaked in 2 "thinking pages". Pages with a fact, important things to remember, a "God question", and a prayer for missionaries.

In the girls book, I honestly only recognized Corrie Ten Boom and Amy Carmichael. In the boys book, I recognized a few more. Augustine, Luther, Tyndale, Calvin, and Knox. At the end of each book, the author had a quiz to challenge the readers to remember what they have read.

If you have children ages 5-14, I earnestly recommend these books for you to read aloud or let them read independently according to their interests and abilities. Irene Howat has also written more of these books, Ten Boys who didn't give in, Ten boys who made history, Ten girls who used their talents, and more!

Here's a site that sells these books as complete sets!

Complete BOY set

Complete GIRL set

For February, I will be tackling a couple of books. A friend recommended Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend, and my husband has highly recommended How we love our Kids by Yerkovich. READ UP! :-)

December - fiction month

I am usually not in fiction so much. I like Christian living and more practical reading like commentaries. But just for fun, in the month of November, I picked up C.S Lewis' Screwtape Letters from the local library, borrowed Jenkins/LaHaye's Kids' Series, Left Behind Book 1: The Vanishings from a sister in Christ, and Lemony Snicket's Who could that be at this hour?

If you do not believe in any sort of spiritual warfare, or do not want to believe in any of that, well, read the Screwtape Letters anyway. "Uncle" Screwtape is a fictional demon who is writing letter back and forth with a fictional "nephew", Wormwood. I love psychology and love studying the mind. In this book, C.S. Lewis' writing is so brilliant even psychologically. You know he wrote The Chronicles of Narnia, right? Which, by the way, I will be working on soon. But I want to read all of Jenkins/LaHaye's Kid's Series on Left Behind first.

So, back to the Screwtape Letters. As a believer, AND an unbeliever 9 years ago, I remember the wrestling that happens in the mind. Our battlefield is psychological, emotional, and physiological. Mind, soul, body, three in one. As we struggle in our mind, our emotions responds, and our struggles turn outward into our bodies. Do you know what I am talking about? When a situation occupies my mind, it first makes me worry, or scared, or angry, then it will either 1. weigh so heavy on me that I cry, 2. scare me till I shut off my emotions 3. give me a neck crick while I sleep. LOL Yes, it happens to all of us. Screwtape, throughout the book, taught and admonished Wormwood how to twist situations for, against, and around its (because demons are neither male nor female)... its assignment, a man, who became a Christian in around chapter 3. Screwtape got mad several times and sounded psychotic. It was a manically manipulative toward its "nephew" and its preys. I enjoyed it but I am not too much into the whole fictional world thing. I know spiritual warfare is real. As I grew up in Hong Kong, I can tell you story after story, dream after dream. But I can tell you one thing, "we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us"! When we become followers of our LORD Jesus Christ, we can no longer be occupied by the Devil or his dominions. But rather, he will try to us our insecurities, our flaws, and our past to try to knock us down. In many of the chapters, Screwtape instructed Wormwood to remind his subject what he was like, to feel comfortable with who he was not who he will become. Of course, our Father is perfectly powerful and loving and has made us His first love, His church, His victories warriors. Nothing the Devil does will bog us down unless we ourselves refuse to become the Victors.

Left Behind was good. It started off with 4 different stories of 4 different kids who were all prodigals. They were left behind and now their lives collided for Christ. I can't wait to get to book 2 because the stories were good. I like the adult series movies too. I had originally wanted to read it to see if my 7 year old should read it. All these characters were teenage years, although the level of literature, (reading and writing) is more for a 3rd grader. I didn't notice any great words, the whole book was  just emotional and adventurous. It is a good read to teenagers who didn't really like reading or looking up words in a dictionary. But it is not really an appropriate book for my 7 year old who has a middle school reading level either! If my children want to read Left Behind one of these days, I would rather them read the adult series when they are teenagers.

Next, Oh, my, my. I have fallen in LOVE with Lemony Snicket. He is a genius! I love his books!!! We have been reading all his picture books and my kids especially love his book, The Latke who couldn't stop screaming. This first of of this new series he just published Who could it be at this hour?, was an amazing book for anyone. Just pick up a copy and read it. I am not kidding. I don't want to even give you any hints or clues or anything. My then 6 year old loved it, I loved it, you will love it, your kids will love it. Please go and reserve this book at the library as soon as you can!

Till next time....

Joanna

November - No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps

So, I have to admit, I got this book from Christianbook.com because it was only a dollar with free shipping. This book was on clearance and was a book that got my attention with its cover and title. I was hesitant and was skeptical.

Paul Coughlin was a football coach. You can tell from the way he wrote this book. No muss, no fuss. To the point and very honest. He has also written No more Christian Nice Guy, and Married but Not Engaged.

In No more Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps, Coughlin first targeted the adults. "They were told as children that nice boys and girls, especially Christian kids, don't exert their will, don't stand up and fight, and don't do conflict." Is it true for you? Is it true for your parents? "Turn your cheek, Jesus said." What does that mean? Where is that passage, anyway? 


Matthew 5:39

“But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also."

The two chapters, Matthew 5-7, spoken by Jesus, was to his Jewish followers about the their fellow brothers, Samaritans, and Roman authorities. Matthew 5:38-42, Jesus refers "slaps" to insults that we as Christians might receive gracefully. Here's a great article on this verse.

During my time in ministry, I always hear the phrases, "don't ruffle the feathers," and "quit making waves." Why? Especially when you are unreasonably, and unjustly treated by your own brothers and sisters in Christ.  According to Coughlin, "Refusing to make waves is not an indicator of a life well lived. Refusing to make waves is the sate that precedes drowning."

In Chapter 3, Overprotective parents, Underdeveloped Kids, the author gave a list to identify "helicopter parents". These parents

• interrupt their child often
• tell their child what to think and feel, even telling them that what they are currently thinking or feeling is wrong
• override their child's initiative
• abruptly changes topics of conversation
• tell their child to change his.her facial expression
• are only willing to discuss certain issues (39)

Sadly, helicopter behavior isn't only parental, it is also relational. Many of these parents have helicopter parents themselves, helicopter spouses, and even helicopter friends. Healthy boundaries, are very important in every relationship. God isn't a helicopter God. He is a loving God who continue a conversation (not a monologue), who gives and receives, who allows us to make our own decisions, make mistakes, and runs back to Him when we repent. 

Here's another great passage on page 198, 

• We parents must grasp this vital distinction. Forcing a kid to do the right thing is not the same as building courage in her, which in turns builds other qualities (like respect). In order for behavior to cultivate the young soil of courage in our children, it must be voluntary  not coercive.  They must first want to do the right thing, then receive encouragement to stay upon this gallant course, which means helping them handle fear.

I cannot force or coerce my children into doing things. I confess, I have done that out of desperation before. I hated not being in control of their sinful actions and behaviors. I can't make them repent, I can't make them feel bad for their sins, I can't force them to pray. But I have noticed, it is better to let the Holy Spirit do that job because I cannot go into their hearts and spirits and tug on them. I cannot be God to them and judge them. I can only be Jesus to them. Teach them, serve them, pray for them, and love them as Christ does. 

My philosophy in parenting is still being developed. The Lord has been gracious to me. He has been my mentor in this. Both my husband and I did not have great examples but God is our perfect Father. If you are thinking about having children, pregnant right now, have kids running around, or have grand kids running around, one advice: keep reading and do not get lazy. 

Proverbs 4:24-27

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth,
And put perverse lips far from you.
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you.
Ponder the path of your feet,
And let all your ways be established.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
Remove your foot from evil.

I give this book a 4 out of 5. It was an interesting read. I liked it because it challenged me to look at my parenting and watch for ways to build up my children to be courageous and chivalrous. Pick it up, you might like it, you might hate it.

JoJo