When God Weeps - Joni Eareckson Tada, Steven Estes

This was a hard book to read, especially in the beginning. I personally liked Joni's section better.

In this book, the authors explored the most difficult question everyone asks when suffering hits... WHY? When I suffer, I often asked why. If I don't ask why, I'm too beaten up or too bitter to ask.

I have finally arrived into 2016 where I am experiencing Mountain Top with God. Not the highest but it's one. I am on a break! For the past 5-6 years, our family has actually been going through a lot. My blogs have not really been tended to. I have lost track of time. I have learned how to suffer well, how to deal with emotions, how to let go of bitterness, how idolatrous I can easily become, how much I don't actually know, how much more of the vastness of grace and trust I do not have, and how much I really need Jesus. I am not a content person, nor a joyful person. I am in nature pessimistic and depressive. I have a lazy bone and I like to blame and make excuses. I am disorganized and I like to knock myself down... haha like I just did. But I have also learned how God is faithful and will never give up on me. Not in a cliche "superficial, I'm just saying" way. I am saying it because I am seeing strong evidence of it in my own life and my family's lives.

When I first became saved by Jesus's grace, I went through quick overview lessons on how to live like Christ. For two solid years, one lesson a week, I would learn a character of God or a theological truth in the bible. After that, lessons became longer and longer. Well, it required long suffering. The training has been tough, hard to get through. But in the midst and afterward, it becomes so evident I need to trust Him and continue on. Then I can see light in the tunnel. I know I will be rescued. I know He is here to teach me important things. So I can find my identity with Him, to identify with Christ. This is essential for every believer. Many times, we identify so much more with culture, the world and its teachings. That's how we are deceived and led astray. When we suffer and not blame God for our suffering, but rather sin, death, and evil, we then stand on God's side and know He is on our side.

p202 Suffering keeps swelling our feet so that earth's shoes won't fit.

Thank You Lord Jesus for not allowing us to go astray and try to fit in the world and its sad state.